it was time for her nap! i went to lay her down in the stroller as part of her daily napping routine. she just wasn’t having it. she’s teething and has about 6 new teeth left that are breaking in through her little gums, so i know she’s in pain.
after a few seconds of trying to strap her in through her kicking, screaming and look now i am stiff as a wall, she's still screaming as if i was hurting her. after succeeding at strapping her in, she finally laid there, still crying. i tried my best to rock her for a few seconds until her cry really struck a chord in my heart. i went to her! i had to meet her where she was! i practically had half of my body in the stroller with her, (i should gotten in to sleep with her) at some point all i could think of was the pain i started to feel in my lower back from the position i was in, but i stayed half in and half out of the stroller with her, and she gripped on to my neck with her little hands and her little arms… Hannah is only 1 and a half, but i will tell you she’s brolic, a baby hulk haha and has a death grip in those little hands. this is what she looks like gripping on to one of her stuffed friends:
so… when i noticed she was dozing off, i pulled away and sure enough she started to cry again like she was dying cause she is truly that dramatic, and i had to remind myself for the millionth time that she’s teething and in pain. so i got close to her again, she gripped on to me - again! and i laid my head on her chest. i tried several times pulling away and she kept pulling me back in!
i managed to pull away but this time looking at her in the process. i then started to caress her little head and i held her little cheek in my hand, looked her in the eyes and started to speak to her, in hopes to keep her at peace and in hopes to calm her down and this song by Kari Jobe called “I Am Not Alone” was playing on 96.7FM K-Love and i started to sing it to her. instead of singing “i am not alone” i sang to her, “you are not alone”…
“I am not alone (you are not alone)
I am not alone (you are not alone)
You will go before me (He will go before you)
You will never leave me (He will never leave you)
In the midst of deep sorrow
I see Your light is breaking through
The dark of night will not over take me (you)
I am pressing into You
Lord, You fight my (your) every battle
And i will not fear”
after i was done singing it to her, i was convinced that God was also speaking to me through that song, trying to keep me calm, trying to keep me at peace, trying to get me to focus on Him through my battles, reminding me i am not alone, when precisely the day before i was sharing with a friend that i felt alone in this season the Lord has been taking me through.
now... going back to me trying to keep my daughter at peace by talking to her, by having her eyes fixed on me and while singing to her, she thankfully started to doze off I MEAN GOODNESS! HALLELUJAH!!! and i slipped in her stuffed dog, but even in doing that i was reminded by God to remind her that she can have the dog but that she really only needs to know that she has security in Jesus and the He is always with her. it was really just such a beautiful moment between me, her and God. so i gently reminded her that the only One she will ever need is Jesus and to rest assured He is always with her.
everyone i know who hears from God, hears from Him differently. this is how God speaks to me many times, through my experiences and moments shared with my children and a lot of those moments are beautiful even the ones where He is correcting me by using my children.
but let me talk or write i should say about how through that sweet moment, i was quickly reminded of a few things:
- that through the chaos, through the pain, through the battles and through the heartaches of life, its important to keep our eyes fixed on Christ and on the cross because there’s no greater peace than the one He gives us and places in our hearts
- that we need to keep looking up to Him, keeping also our ears tuned to His voice and His words and promises over our lives because that also helps us to be and remain at peace
- that our grip should be on Him, not on anything this world has to offer
- that He loves us so much He even sings over us
- that He truly does meet us where we are in our pain and our struggles, He is with us through it all
- that His peace calms our troubled hearts, even when we don’t fully understand what is going on and i was reminded that His peace surpasses all understanding
- in Hannah's case, who she needed was me at the moment, her parent. But who we ultimately need is our Heavenly Father - for everything. He has the solution to it all. He is the one only One who can soothe and take away our pain and then eventually turn it into something beautiful
So i wanted to encourage you all that you are NOT alone today. No matter what you’re going through, as i can imagine it may hurt, as i can imagine you feel alone in the battle, you are NOT alone. He goes before you, He fights your every battle just like the song says.
this is one of my favorite scriptures because it was the first time i learned that God rejoices over us with singing. SINGING - i mean how beautiful and romantic and poetic is that! He is so awesome! so smile in knowing that God the creator of universe, the creator of all, the creator of you sings over YOU!
Zephaniah 3:17 NKJV - The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing
(the MSG version says it like this “He’ll calm you with His love and delight you with His songs”)
and then i leave you with this one… for a peace that surpasses all understanding:
Philippians 4:6-7 NKJV - Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
