Believe in yourself. Dream. Live.

We all have dreams, ideas, passions, visions and goals for our lives and even for our families. Unfortunately, we never reach or end up doing what we so desire because too many times we get stuck. We end up not doing anything meaningful with our lives because we have this bad habit of giving in to our insecurities and our fears, while also giving up before even giving ourselves a chance. 

If we could only grab on the truth that most of the desires in our hearts come from the Lord Himself because He has placed them there, we would go so far! We need to hang on to Him and believe and trust that we can do anything with Him by our side. If we dare to see ourselves the way He sees us, there is so much more we would be doing with our lives. There’s something so encouraging and so motivating when we have someone on our side, who loves us and cheers us on. Well i tell you that God cheers you on and if you have loved ones cheering you on then you my friend are more than blessed and you should be able to do and accomplish that which your hearts so desires while shutting up all the negative voices in your head and while kicking those insecurities to the curb. 

I know someone who is so fearless in the way he lives his life and i look up to him so much and he has become such an inspiration to me. My little brother Chris. I am 33 years old, he is a few years younger (I always forget exactly how old) but man does this guy understand the meaning of living out your dreams and making it a purpose to live. He recently graduated from John Jay and i am excited to announce that he has a poetry book coming out soon. If you are interested in poetry or just writing in general, i encourage you to check him out on Instagram: @itscarus and read many of his pieces. He truly does have a grace to write, and beautifully may i add. 

My reason for mentioning my brother is not because he is my brother but because he is a good example of what it looks like to not give in to insecurities. He could very well sit as he writes and compare himself to others and that alone would get him nowhere. Same goes for us, we could take many moments out of our lives to compare ourselves to what others are doing and how well they are doing somethings we also desire to be doing, but i guarantee you that will get you nowhere and it will only shatter your dreams before you even start to live them. 

As a stay-at-home mom, i have been trying to find ways to bring in some side mulaaaa "cash" to help my husband. From what i have been seeing on social media, there are quite a few ways us moms can bring in “cheddah cheese” (like my sons like to call money lol) from the comfort of our homes, especially those moms who lean more towards the world of creativity :) I mean all you have to do is check out good ol' Pinterest and search for "under 20 minute how-to's" and I am sure you'll find a few things to master and make some money out of. 

I do have bigger dreams though. I dream of baking and owning a family Coffee Shop where i can also sell my homemade items because i desire to leave a legacy behind for my children.

We all have really big dreams or even small ones in between and sadly, we have allowed our fears to get in the way. At least I know I do. I have been nothing but consumed with pretty cool and fun ideas on what to do at home while my little girl takes her 2 hour long naps. In my down time, i have come to realize that nothing shuts down, kills your dreams and passions like a speck of insecurity. Then we fall into a pattern of again, comparing ourselves to others and perhaps even questioning if we’re good at anything to begin with. 

I have heard this being said, that the only one stopping us from making any kind of move or from moving forward with an idea or a dream is us. 

Do you talk to yourself? I talk to myself, I am not even going to lie! Now, don't lie! You all know you talk to yourselves too! Good or bad, we ALL talk to ourselves. My thoughts, my voices go a little something like this or have been going a little something like this for quite some time now, as I try to bring to life a few ideas i have had pending in my heart, which i believe God has placed there. ”Everyone I see on social media or someone i know is already baking, making jewelry, making bags, writing, blogging and creating sugar scrubs and bath salts and doing what i know i could probably do pretty well too, and doing a heck of a great job. What will be so different about my products or what i have to offer? Or great, another cupcake baker, another mom making bags, and stuff at home!" it gets crazy in my head sometimes... it pushes me to tears! 

If i have learned anything about insecurity is that it's a BULLY! Our insecurities have a way of bullying and tormenting us until we feel completely paralyzed, stuck and incapable of doing what our hearts desire! But keep this is mind... A while ago i learned through Joyce Meyer that God gives us the strength to do what He called us to do! Through Him we could do all things, especially those things we are called to do! "Philippians 4:13 NKJV - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". It's just a matter of us figuring out what He called us to do - spreading His word being the number one goal! and then us setting our hearts to accomplish those dreams, visions, ideas and plans God has placed in our hearts. It could be the simplest of things like maybe knitting a scarf for the homeless. 

I believe that what separates us from the crowd and the pool of people already doing what we so badly desire to do, is good ol' sweet loving GRACE! Or as my Dominican people say "GRACIA" not as in "thank you" but as in "he/she has the grace to sew, cook or bake like no one else can" or in my husbands case, "el tiene gracia para cocinar esa sopa de lentijas" <--- that's for my husband :) cause God knows my sweet husband is a hidden chef (my chef) and he is blessed and graced with the ability to cook meals from scratch! No matter how much i try to prepare his famous-in-our-family lentil soup, even if i prepare it step by step, it just won't taste the same! That kills me and makes me laugh because i had to realize i am simply not graced with the ability to prepare his delicious lentil soup! 

My little brother Chris is truly graced with the gift of writing… My mom makes these amazing lasagnas from scratch that everyone in our family loves, and she is NOT Italian lol but she’s got that grace to make them so darn well. 

What are you graced with doing? We all have something to offer the world in a unique way. 

Yes, we can all cook, bake, sew, write and create certain things etc... But again, I strongly feel that we are each given a special grace to do certain things in excellence. 

Don't allow insecurity to shatter, kill or ruin your dreams before you even give yourself a chance! Don't make the mistake i have made in comparing myself to others. I don't always believe in myself the way i should or even the way my loved ones believe in me or even better, the way God believes in me but i am working on that because there truly is so much i want to do with my life. 

Make it a point today to sit down, write your dreams, vision, ideas and plans and choose to believe in them and yourself and step out in faith and follow what is in your heart. 

Be humble. Be confidant. Be brave. Be strong. Be bold. Keep your head up and be YOU! You owe it to yourself to be best you that you can be! Never stop believing in yourself. Remain thankful and keep God first! There is nothing we can't do with Him by our side!

oh how gentle His love is...

So... I think a post like this has been wayyyyyy over due. It's about that time I dedicate this one to my Heavenly Father and share a subtle little thing that happened today that blessed me in a big way. 

If you haven't figured out already, I am a Christian woman. If you had not figured it out by my actions or words, it's okay :) I probably wouldn't think I was a Christian either. But Lord knows I try my best on a daily basis to be an extension of Him and His love. On most days I succeed BUT I think that on even most mostest (I know, not a word) of days I fail, because let's face it, I am human and I suck and my attitude is whack. Either way my love for Him is one that can't be shaken and I am still a rough work in progress. 

On other posts, I will gladly share of all He has done for me. 

But here's a little something that happened today :) if you follow me on Instagram, you already know the story, part of it at least... To some, perhaps this may seem silly but to me, quite meaningful. 

A little back story of why this meant so much to me:
I have been battling with something within my marriage for quite sometime now, which I won't express at the moment until we or I get the victory and He gets the glory! But yes, I've been going through and naturally I tend to feel like God has abandoned me, which is clearly NOT true because His word says so, that He will never leave me (us, you) nor forsake me (us, you). But either way, I still ended up feeling abandoned by Him in this battle. I started to feel like He really wasn't listening to my pleas, my cries and my frustrations along with what I could muster up as prayers. 

But He's a good God. A good Father and a good listener even when we feel like our prayers, petitions and our desires are going up into the abyss of space. Believe me when I tell you that He will find a way, a special way to let you know, to remind you that yes He is with you and by your side and listening to your every cry and that He is concerned about your every care. All you need to do is open your eyes, ears and your heart for when He speaks and reveals Himself. 

In regards to my battle, not only has he made it a point to pair me up with a sister in Christ, who shall remain nameless at the moment, to help me through and to lift me up and encourage me through but then He does a little extra to catch my attention. 

I can't make these things up about how awesome and caring God is! 

Almost every day, while walking home from my day out with the kids, I pass by a specific house that has these flowers:

and every time I pass by, I touch and look at them cause they're so darn pretty (and mostly because I am a little too crazy about flowers) and of course I once wanted to pluck them lol but didn't because it's on someones property. 

BUT! Today I passed by the same house around 7:30pm while taking the kids for a walk (lol as if my children were dogs, I know, that sounds terrible) and I stopped to take a picture (left) and I noticed the owner of the house (for the first time ever in my almost 7 years living in my neighborhood) watering his plants and he kindly asked me with an Indian accent: "Do you want a couple?" and I smiled so hard and clearly said YES! and I went on to tell him how pretty they are. 

He went on to warn me that the flowers/stems had thorns... and what he does next really blessed my heart. He made it his business to come out of his house with a scissor because clearly the flowers have thorns, and aint nobody got time to be getting pricked by thorns (but i did). SO, there he is walking with the scissor (in that moment, I can't even lie when I tell you all that I walked away slowly because I was with the kids and I thought "oh shoot this guy is now gonna stab us all with a scissor all because of some flowers" LOL) but anyway, so he plucked them, 3 stems, and he even went on to put them in a plastic bag he brought out for me which was so darn sweet! And I thanked him so much and smiled like a psycho! 

Aaaaaand that's my story behind these flowers that now sit pretty on my window sill which is clearly dirty lol but please just ignore that and don't judge :)  

Sooooo. I say all this to say that God loves me and He really does love you and He cares even about the smallest desires of our hearts! And just when we feel or think or are stubbornly convinced He's not there on His throne listening, He truly is. 

I pray that you take heart and open your eyes, ears and hearts to His subtle voice and be aware of how truly loving and caring He is. 

Nothing is too big for God. He responds to us in ways that we understand. He communicates in ways we will comprehend. 

He knows I LOVE flowers, so although it may seem silly to say He communicates in "flower", yes He does. It blessed my heart to know He would use a simple flower and that man to let me know He's on His throne listening to me, my cries, my petitions and my prayers. 

As always, He is right on time. As always, I am left smiling because of how gentle He loves me. And I simply know with all my heart that He is in control, of everything. 

I love You Lord! 

the life of a stay-at-home mom...

dedicated to all the stay-at-home moms - you are enough, you have value and what you do within your home matters...

my life as a stay-at-home mom: 
not always in this order :) but here goes...wake up (thank You Jesus), tend to my children's needs, prepare breakfast for them, wash dishes, wait i forgot to make my breakfast, wash dishes again, have Hannah take her morning nap, make sure i am listening to my boys when they speak, walk by my room and notice i have not done my bed and think "i will get to it", 95% of the time i simply don't get to it...oh look it's lunch time, prepare lunch for them, take them to the park or let them play in front of the house, text my husband good morning or good afternoon, squeeze in some time to shower (i love those moments when i simply can't remember if i showered) oh wait, i didn't have lunch, no wonder i am dizzy and it's almost 6pm, but wait, i need to organize the kitchen real quick and the living room before my husband gets home from work. text my mom, respond to my mom, respond to my friends, prepare dinner for all of us, oh look, i am actually sitting down now, but wait, let me use the bathroom *hears knock on the door*, bathroom break over... (i know i am not the only mom that uses the bathroom as an excuse to hide from everyone in the home for a few minutes)... breastfeed Hannah, put Hannah in bed, kiss boys good night, make sure i hug them tight, FUDGE, we forgot to pray! tend to my husbands needs...*wipes sweat off forehead* sheesh! sometimes my life feels like this, like a run on sentence lol! do it all over again tomorrow! very rarely do i get moments like this where it's almost 2am in the morning and i am up typing and listening to music. 

why, oh why am i not sleeping at this time... i don't need sleep, i am robot! at least i think that is what my daughter thinks - i am convinced she has a sensor or radar or SOMETHING that tells her, "oooohh look, mommy is about to take a nap and or go to sleep, let me wake up NOW"! lol i have lost count of the times i have BEGGED the Lord to put her back to sleep so that i can take a nap or get some sleep period. but i am awake at this time simply because it's the only time i get to MYSELF :) to be alone, to catch up on a movie, catch up with God, mindlessly scroll through my social media feeds... ah, the good ol' after hours! time to think, laugh, pray and cry about my very long day...

confessions and thoughts of a stay-at-home mom: 

i can admit that sometimes i get stuck in a rut and a wonder of "is this it?" "is this all i was created for? is this all i am worth?" as if what i do is not significant or valuable enough, as if the fact that i am not out there making some money takes away from my value. someone needs to name this the "stay-at-home-mom syndrome" or something to that effect. i even often wonder "was this my only purpose? to be a mom and a wife? am i done here on earth?" 

it's easy as a stay at home mom to fall into this kind of thinking, at least for me it has been easy. it's funny, there aren't enough hours in a day for me to get things done around the house but there seems to always be plenty of time for me to over think and allow my own thinking to put me down.

a little about my journey as a mom: 

i don't know what teens dream of these days, or what ambitions they have but for me, my goal in my early teens was to be married with kids before or by the age of 30. that was my goal! having a family was my goal.

Sammy:

i remember being in my very early 20's - 21 to be exact. i was in college, working and just had a newborn, Sammy, my oldest (November 2003). i remember having to go back to work when my baby was only 2 months. by the grace of God he was always taken care of by family which i have always been thankful for. but the pain i felt in my heart in having to leave him behind while i was working and in college still stings me today. the hours and days i lost with my first baby, i knew i could never regain. even in writing this now my eyes get watery cause i have always felt terrible for leaving him while being so little. but hey, i had a job waiting for me and college. 

Daniel:

i was working at a different company when i had my second child, Daniel, (May 2008), when he arrived, forget it... i started to feel a pull, a tug, a yank at my heart at my very being and core to stay home with him. in my heart, no money in the world could ever compare to the time i could be spending with the children i carried within me for more than 9 months. by that time i had finished college in 2006. i remember praying to God after i had him and talking to my sons dad and expressing my desires of wanting to be home. that weekend at church i remember someone, who just so happens to now be my best friend - Belinda, she had given a testimony about being a stay-at-home mom and how God had been providing for her and her family. you can already imagine that i took that testimony as a confirmation from God that yes, i could stay home. so between me and my boys dad, we decided i would just not return to work and that is what happened. i stayed home with my little guy. 

bits and pieces of my life as a single stay-at-home mom:

in September of 2009, during the process of me getting separated from their dad, i had gotten a job. moved in alone with my boys and soon after in February 2010 got laid off. which i could tell you was an answered prayer. being a single mom at the time and working in the city during the brutal winter was not fun and not easy. to say that i cried every single day on the bus ride home, is NOT even an exaggeration. 

i remember having to rush out of work at 5pm to take the train uptown to get Sammy from school at 6pm, to then get on the bus to get Daniel from Belinda's house (my best friend back then also took care of my Daniel), to then get back on the bus to go home. we would get home to then do homework, dinner, shower and bed to then do it all over again the next day. so you can now imagine why me being laid off was a blessing and an answered prayer. i begged God to take me out and He did just that. to this day, Sammy and i call that winter the season of hell. 

in me getting laid off i was able to collect unemployment by the grace of God for two full years and be home with my boys. a single mom and a stay-at-home mom! during this time, i met my husband and we had started dating in 2011. in 2012, it was time for me to get back to work, because yes, unemployment funds had run out.

Married life, Hannah and being a stay-at-home mom:

now, fast forwarding to August 2013 where i got married to Cesar, the one man who has been able to deal with all i am, fast forwarding again to January 2014 - we found out we were pregnant with our first baby together, our daughter Hannah, that God had promised years ago. i was long done with college, but of course i had a job, which had been such a blessing because it was a job i had prayed for. SO, from January 15, that i tested positive for baby number 3! from that moment up until i gave birth to Hannah i had this burning desire in my heart all over again to be home with her when she was born. my desire and passion towards wanting to be a stay-at-home mom has been in me from the moment i became a mom. by the grace of God, and the understanding of my husband, i am a stay-at-home mom now to my three precious children. 

i am going on 33 years old in October and i look back at my journey and my life as a mom, or my life and i can't think of anything i've loved more in my life than being a mom. through the dirty dishes, dirty laundry, food on the floor, messy rooms, restless and sleepless nights - there's still no amount of money on this earth that could ever compare to the time I spend with my kids.

dear world and society - do not mistake us stay-at-home moms for lazy! we work just as hard as any other woman out there making money. I did it for years and my mom has done it for years. i am simply blessed that God has blessed me with the opportunity to be home with my children. 

my purpose, my calling...

here's a little encouragement to you stay-at-home mommas: 

i had a good friend and sister in Christ, Johanna, send me this twice on different occasions.

Excerpt from a book called Sun Stand Still by one of my favorite authors: Steven Furtick - "God may lead you to stay at home with your young children, forfeiting a second income. Ordinary. But along with diapers, dishes, and naps, you receive the gift of time— to model discipline, instill values, and speak life into your kids. They could grow up to be Joshuas" 

What we do at home is just as important as what we do in a corporate office. we are raising our children in the ways of the Lord. 

i think that if I dig really deep into my younger years, I would find in the depths of my heart that all i have ever wanted to do with my life is be a mom and be a wife... 

I've been struggling a lot lately with trying to figure out what my purpose in life is because again, i tend to fall into these ruts of "omg is this it?" and I've been learning that my number one purpose is to spread the love of Christ. Then to be a wife to my husband and be a mom to my three precious children... As for everything else in my heart that i would love to pursue, I have to just trust God that it will fall into place at the right time... 

But dear God, if I do nothing else with my life Lord, let me just be an extension of all You are to those around me! let me impact the world around me! if I do nothing else with my life Lord but be Your daughter, my husbands wife and a mom to the children you have trusted me with! may I do it in excellence and may my life be a sweet aroma to You Lord and may all I do, even when it's the dirty dishes and housework while raising up three children, may I do it all to honor You Lord! 

Smile and Move On...

With everyday that passes, something new is learned... 

I'm learning that not everyone is meant to be part of my life... As much as this truth stings and even hurts me, I'm coming to terms with it and choosing to accept it. 

I have noticed that people who once were so important in my life have now somehow just become an acquaintance, whether it was a family member or a friend... I never understood that but I am realizing it's all part of this thing called LIFE! Surprisingly, people who were once strangers have become a lot like family... and it will no longer come to me as a surprise if these people I now consider to be so close to me and consider to be "family" someday become strangers.

I've had people in the past few years come into my life for a season or more... And they have served as a huge blessing to me and my family as I only hope I was a blessing to them... 

I believe God places us in people's lives as a friend, a sister, brother, lover, mentor or even as a stranger because we have something to offer, something within us they can use, learn or benefit from for a certain season in their lives, as I believe God has placed people in my life for the same reasons... 

As time passes, something happens... We, I, people change... That's just a dead honest reality, whether for better or worse, people change. Whether it's due to bad influence or due to progress, people change and so do our priorities. 

Our priorities change with everything that naturally takes place in our lives, whether it be a new job, business, marriage, death in the family, children being born or even newer friendships or new people we meet... no longer making way or space or time for the existing, at times by choice, other times by natural default... It's unfortunate, but yes, our priorities change. 

Due to my transparent nature, I can freely admit that I used to get annoyed when I would see people on my social media feeds enjoying their lives and living their lives, without me... Who the heck gets annoyed at that??? Clearly, I did... and then it hit me not too long ago! I. AM. DOING. JUST. THAT! Living and enjoying my life! My priorities too have changed with time, my friendships have changed, family I have because we are blood related are honestly strangers to me.  

My biggest priority, for those who follow me on social media, know that it's God, my husband and my three precious children, my family (my mom and brother's) and my very small selection of friends. 

I think we owe it to everyone we come in contact with, to simply be ourselves and give our best... If you don't know me, that's okay :) for those who do know me, know that I love hard. It's how God created me. 

I can only speak for myself and my life experiences and my walk and journey with God as I express that He has placed people in my life during all seasons of my life to help me, mentor me, lift me up, encourage me, cry with me, give me a loving push, to love on me hard, to scold me, to mold me, to shape me, to bless me and my family financially and with gifts or to give me a simple hug... 

I say all this to say He knows who and what we need and every point in our lives and while some may come and go from our lives, His love, His grace, His goodness, His forgiveness remains. He remains by our side through every season of our life.

To those who have stuck by me like glue, despite the changes... Thank you! 

To those who have stuck by me regardless of my ugliness, selfishness and human nature, Thank you! 

To those who genuinely choose to be part of my world...my life...me... Thank you!

Our circle of people changes as we change... And that is more than okay... Smile and move on... Guilt free!

Manic Monday!

At some point this week or in the future, I will look back on this day and think "it was just one of those Monday's!" 

Just when I felt like I was doing a crappy job as a mom, God sends two people to congratulate me on doing a good job...

Last night, well more like booty early this morning between 1am and 5am, I was up with my oldest son, Sammy. He couldn't sleep because the allergies were taking over and he had such a terrible hacking cough. At around 1am I heard him coughing up a lung and I kind of didn't pay much mind to it or him honestly. But then it's 2am and he's still coughing up a lung and by that time we were both awake. We're both in the living room now and I'm praying in my head for the cough to cease. I'm rubbing him down with some good ol' mommy lovin'. I gave him "cold and cough" Alka Seltzer, it wasn't working and he actually threw it up. It's then 3am and I'm trying to close my eyes while he's still coughing, so I figure "okay, maybe some ginger tea with lemon and honey would help"... I went to the kitchen and started rebuking satan cause I didn't know what was going on and due to my exhaustion and lack of sleep I was getting very frustrated.

It's then 4am, he's still coughing but trying his best to drink the ginger tea and somewhat settling down which made me happy and all I kept thinking about was "oh Lord, I need to, we need to be up in a few hours to go to school"... and then who do I hear crying from my room? My dear Hannah! Crying for her breast milk. Thankfully, she now only feeds once during sleeping hours and only for a few minutes and then I'm able to put her back down. So I did just that in the living room and I started to realize Sammy wasn't coughing as much and actually dosing off on the sofa. I kissed him good night, well more like I kissed him good morning as it was almost 5am.

My husband leaves for work around 6:45am and my alarm starts going off and Hannah is now awake for her morning feeding and meanwhile I'm DEAD exhausted. I don't know how many times I ended up snoozing the alarm on my phone but all I know is that I woke up at 8:45am.

God knows I debated on whether to wake up my youngest boy Daniel, because he goes in at 8am to school and Sammy goes on at 9am. Obviously, Daniel was already late and would've been even later had I decided to take him to school because that meant getting him, myself and Hannah ready.

As for Sammy, I had already decided he would stay home because he had not gotten any sleep. Now of course, to not feel like an above and beyond extra crappy mom, I decided to call the school and let them know Sammy wasn't going in, but don't ask me why I failed to mention Daniel wouldn't be in either. But moving on.

Fine. So it was 9am this morning and I had decided they're BOTH staying home. Judge all you want but my goodness was I exhausted in every way. So yes, Daniel didn't go to school because I woke up late and too exhausted and Sammy didn't go I guess with good reason of not feeling well.

So because I'm exhausted, I decide, "okay, we're going to go eat breakfast at the diner" because God knows I was not in the mood to cook. We gather up $24 and as we are getting ready to go out I see my boys playing around like SAVAGE ANIMALS outside, in front of the house and of course the minute I say to Sammy "let him go, put him down, he's going to fall and hit the concrete" POW! Daniels forehead gives the darn concrete a wonderful bloody HIGH-FIVE! So now I have a crying 6 year old but they both got smacked for not listening and for being so irresponsible with their savage ways!

But it's okay, cause I still wasn't going to cook and as mad as I was that Sammy dropped Daniel and despite how badly I wanted to just put their behinds on time-out. We went anyway... I needed to flee the scene!

We get to the diner and as if I wasn't already feeling like a CRAPPY mom, who do we run into at the diner?!? (I'm telling you, I can't make these things up) Daniel says,"mom look, it's Mrs. Martinez" (Daniel's teacher) ha! My GOODNESS! I wanted to run and hide and laugh and cry all at once! I even told the boys, "oh great, what a crappy mom am I? I keep you guys home from school and not even because of Daniel, and we run into his teacher!"... We waved hello at her and she smiled and my thoughts and insecurities told me LOUD AND CLEAR, "she's talking crap about you RIGHT NOW with whoever she was sitting with"...

A little while passed and I noticed Mrs. Martinez was getting ready to leave and she comes over with the person she was sitting with, did I mention that Mrs. Martinez was also Sammy's 1st grade teacher?! Haha. So yes, she comes over with a Mrs. Davila. Such a sweet teacher. She looked at Hannah and played with her. We both laughed as I expressed "how bad of a parent am I huh?!? I keep my kids home from school and we run into his teacher!" We both laughed so hard... 

Mrs. Martinez was so darn sweet and went on to tell me how much she loves Daniel and how Daniel always asks her how her lunch break was, which made me smile and I thought maybe, just maybe, I am not that crappy of a mom. 

Through my embarrassment, Mrs. Davila is telling me how Mrs. Martinez was so happy to see Daniel today and Mrs. Martinez expressed how of all the students to be absent today she didn't want Daniel to be absent because he's so helpful, which again blessed my heart. She had mentioned Sammy but did not realize Sammy was sitting there or that it was even him but she had seemed to remember his name from when she was teacher in 1st grade, and I said, "this is him, Sammy!" and she stood in awe of how big he was!

She went on to tell me that I'm doing such a good job with the kids and congratulated me for doing such a good job and mentioned how she wished more parents were like me and I of course started to cry. I was left humbled and blessed and as I write up this post, I am thinking to myself "all glory goes to GOD because without Him I would not be the mom I am today!

There I was, beating myself up, feeling like a terrible mom for keeping them home and meanwhile God sends me two teachers to lift up my spirit and to encourage me. I love it when God does little but amazing things like that!

So, while I'm feeling all great and blessed because God and the teachers gave me some love and encouragement, to make things a little more exciting, before we leave... Hannah is yelling at the top of her lungs because she's got teeth cutting in through her top little gums and Sammy is trying to soothe her with water and then POW, the cold ice water falls on Hannah! Now she's yelling even more and there's water all over. 

BUT it's okay, because I promise I did NOT overreact. The peace of God must have been all over me because I laughed over the spilled water and simply acknowledged that it was just one of those manic Monday's!

Happy Monday to all! 

Success

I looked up the word "success" on Dictionary.com and I got this: 
the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.

Society's idea of "success", I have noticed it to be: money, fame and anything money can buy... 

I found this on Pinterest (high five to Michelle Obama, I agree with her): 

By the grace of God, His provision and my husbands hard work, I was able to resign from my job back in November 2014 after having our daughter.  I chose to stay home because I wanted to be the one to raise our daughter and I wanted to be available for my boys in every way.  

I used to be this kind of thinker: the more money I make or have in the bank, the more successful I am or appear to be.  The more material and the more I have of what this world and society has to offer, the more successful I am and appear to be... 

Now, I am in no way knocking hard workers down, it's just that my personal definition of "success" has changed a whole lot after becoming a wife and a mom of 3 kids... 

My idea or what I feel in my heart to be true "success" is having Gods perfect plan for my life being fulfilled...

It's me living out my calling as a wife and a mom...

It's me making a positive impact on those around me - strangers, neighbors, friends and my loved ones...

It's me seeing my kids doing an amazing job in school, and seeing them live their lives for God... It's me imparting Gods truth into my children's lives...

It's the unity in my family...

It's the teamwork and love between my husband and me...

It's me being part of a church...

With every promise God has made me and that has been fulfilled so far in my life I hang on to this truth and His word... For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

His plans for me have always been greater than my plans for myself.

Living and experiencing my daily calling as a wife and a mom has by far been my greatest success. One that I would not trade for anything this world or society could possibly offer. 

Everyday I look forward to trying my best to be the best wife I can be to my husband and the best mom I can be to my kids.

I am so blessed and so thankful for the successful and prosperous life God has allowed me to live and I am so humbled for where God has me right now and I look forward to where He will lead me, for I know He is not done with me yet...

Success is not just within the 4 walls of wealth, there's a lot more to being and living successful life... 

My one and only

Dedicated to my wonderful husband - Cesar Pena

This year on September 28, him and I will be married for a full 2 years. What a wonderful, shaky, challenging, joyful, exciting year and a half it's been so far... He is the complete opposite of me. I'm way too loud to be honest, I am feisty and have a "strong character" as he always says when I am being ME. "Tu nada mas eres chiquita" he says in Spanish, meaning I am only small, and always hinting I have a big/strong character. I always laugh because he is right. He is quiet, reserved, very soft-spoken and oh so polite (rest assured, I am the opposite, except I can be polite too).

If you take a look at my husband, what do you see? Let me tell you what I see immediately... A very un-groomed dude... cause lets face it, we tend to pick on the not-so-nice appearances of a person before even trying to SEE the good in that person.

Too often, we judge people by their outer appearance first, failing to see the beauty, value and even the humility in their hearts and the person they truly are... 

I didn't meet my husband with this much facial hair. When I met him almost 4 years ago this coming July, he had what I have a habit of calling a "clean face"... 

After we got married, he started to let his beard grow and forget it, that was the end of me, that was above and beyond devastating for me (I can be a bit selfish, not going to lie). I had a hard time accepting his beard the way HE wanted to have it. 

We had countless arguments over his beard, it was starting to get quite pathetic, I mean who argues over a beard!? But you see, the real issue with me was that I wasn't getting my way. My husband doesn't let me get away with what I want, and surprisingly, through him being like that was that God taught me to let go of the control issues I once had. 

But moving on, I remember him once telling me "learn to love me through my beard". I am a VERY dramatic woman (just give me my Oscar now, thanks!), so my reaction when he said that, drove me nuts, I cried as I replayed his words in my head... Hmmph - "learn to love me through my beard" he says... "Oh please, how about let me count the ways I have loved you" is what I really felt and expressed to him. 

It took me quite some time to understand that love does not rest or stop at the outer appearance, it is meant to reach the heart... 

We laughed together as I once joked and told him "at least you don't have facial hair on your heart" (I may have been the only to laugh at that joke) but anyway, I say all this to say that I love this man with every bone in my body and with all the love in my heart that I posses. 

Under all that outer appearance, flesh and facial hair lies a beautiful, humble and servant, loving heart and an amazing man of God, an amazing father to our daughter and an amazing step father to my boys and I wouldn't change or trade him for anything or anyone in the world. 

It was his smile and his kind eyes that stole my heart almost 4 years ago and it's his tender love that continues to steal my heart.

Let's not be so quick to judge a person at a first glance. Take the time to actually know that person...

"Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are." - Pinterest quote

The joy of being a mom!

So. I'm Jenny and oh so new to the world of "BLOGGING", so this should be fun... I am 32, married and a mom of three. I'm going to dedicate my first post to my precious children. I have two amazing boys, Samuel - 11 and Daniel- 6 and recently God blessed us with a precious princess, Hannah - 6 months. 

My journey as a mom has been quite an amazing one, filled with lots of joy, tears, frustrations but so jam packed with good ol' LOVE.  

I remember always having so much fun dressing up my boys. I dressed them quite preppy (until of course they learned and decided to dress themselves) but yes, simple shorts, t-shirts, hats etc... I didn't have to really worry about combing their hair cause lets face it boys eventually end up with messy hair throughout the day. It took only a matter of maybe seconds to dress Sammy... By the time Daniel was born, ha - forget it - I was a pro, lol, i was dressing him with my eyes closed so-to-speak and in a heartbeat...

Until... Princess Hannah came along. 

She was blessed with the most adorable little dress and I was head on determined to put her in it. What took me back then maybe seconds to dress my boys took me over 5 ETERNITY LONG minutes to put her in a dress!!! My baby girl was born of 6lbs and 10oz... So not only was I feeling defeated lol by that darn adorable little dress BUT O. M. G, i was terrified i was going to break something (my boys were chunkah monkahs compared to Hannah). Sheesh. But what was the big deal in dressing a girl?!?! The same rules applied! Arm there. Arm there. Head there! Agh! Being a mom to a daughter was officially challenging. I had no idea what I was doing or at least it felt that way. 

6 years of not having a newborn and I was left feeling like a brand new parent having no clue what to do or how to do it (it eventually hits you like a rushing wind and it all comes back to you) But oh, forget it and then her having been a girl! How to clean? How to wipe? What to wear? How to comb? What colors to wear? Did I mention the amount of clothing choices the girls have. Dresses, skirts, leggings, sweats, jeans, jeggings... 

What had happened to me LOL - I had been a mom to boys for so long that I could've sworn years ago never being one of those moms that dressed their daughter in pink or dresses etc... In fact Sammy clearly told me that Hannah was not going to be one of those "princessy" kind of girls. HA!!! Yea right!!! She took us ALL by surprise. She is the most feminine and most delicate little girl ever. You can't help but smother her in pinks and purples, and well who am I kidding, every color honestly. Cause clearly navy is the new pink! She wears it so beautifully. The boys with all their toughness - treat her like the queen of the house (i don't exist LOL)...

Now, I've also officially become one of "THOSE" moms that want to dress up like their daughter! I can admit to maybe having thought "oh that's so tacky and corny". But oh jeez it's gotten crazy around here, I now plan what I'm going to wear according to what she's wearing not even me dress her to look like me but me dress to look like her HAHA! There's a difference! If she's in pink I'm in pink, purple - I'm in purple, blue - I'm in blue! And then we take selfies haha to show off how color coordinated we are!!! 

I tell you it's a such a joy being a mom to two boys and now a girl. The boys drive me bananas and are so much crazy fun! And the princess well she's the princess and that says it all. Now that she is 6 months i see her gravitating more towards the boys and the things they do and the toys they play with... It's only a matter of time until she starts to drive THEM crazy and take over their toys... I can hear my boys already in a few months "Mooooommmmmm, Haaaaannnnaaahhhh is taaaakinggg my toooooyyyssss" and i will do what a good mom does best - TUNE. THEM. OUT! LOL... My home is circus or a zoo or both LOL and I'm going crazy half the time trying to juggle them BUT God knows i wouldn't have my life, my home and my world without them or any other way... They truly complete me!

It's such a joy to be called MOM! :)

I saw this quote somewhere (probably Pinterest) "MOTHERHOOD: THE MOST EXHAUSTING, EMOTIONAL, REWARDING AND LIFE ENHANCING JOURNEY A WOMAN CAN TAKE"... this quote is MY wonderful life in a nutshell :)